From the monster guide

Changing Table

FREQUENCY: Common; 8 + 1d10/day
ARMOR CLASS: 5 (-8 wood, -2 foam, +1 cotton cover)
HIT DICE: 2d10+10
% IN LAIR: 100%
TREASURE TYPE: 20% wipes; 80% pail
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Spell-like abilities; cold; cast fear
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Cotton cover; vinyl coating
MAGIC RESISTANCE: +2 resistance to Soothe
ALIGNMENT: Chaotic neutral
  Attack/defense modes: Nil

Changing tables are sedentary beasts, which lurk passively in nearby rooms until unwary babies are brought to them. Indentations and padding on their upper portions entice placement of soiled infants upon them. Once roused, encounters usually begin with surprise Fuss spell (+4 bonus for initiative, -2 penalty to saving throw for calm). Attacks continue once per round until the baby escapes or the table is subdued (see below). Babies brought within range of the table by two parents gain +3 bonuses to Soothe spells.

Successful Fuss spells cast by changing tables induce Fussing (see standard Conditions.) Fussing babies inflict 1 kick, 1 flail per round on random members of the party, and have a 50% chance per round of employing Piercing Wail. Fussing lasts 4+d4 rounds or until a successful Soothe is employed by a member of the party. The table may re-attempt the Fuss within 2 rounds of any successful Soothe.

Special weaknesses: changing tables’ cotton covers are vulnerable to Urine Storm attacks. Urine Storm reduces the arena of combat to 40+d20% of the previous area, as with a Poison Trap, but without onset delay modifiers. After a successful Urine Storm, on subsequent encounters with the same Table the cotton cover will be missing, with consequent adjustments to Armor class.

– Devin


  1. mordwen said,

    March 18, 2009 at 3:44 pm

    You *geeks*. And to ashamed to sign it, I see.

    • puppchen said,

      March 18, 2009 at 6:51 pm

      Neither of us have played D&D in our lives, for the record. Though I did enjoy reading the manuals when I was young.

      No signature? Eh, it took two days of gradual googling and cribbing from samples to write, and just as I was finishing, someone cast Hunger on Laurel and Desertification on Beth’s breasts, obliging me to swing into action with the +2 Formula Bottle of Not Starving. Such niceties are often left aside.

      Had some help from a couple of blog readers, too.

      – Devin

  2. mordwen said,

    March 18, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    Eep. That’s “too”. Typing one handed with baby on knee.

  3. smallerdemon said,

    March 20, 2009 at 6:13 pm

    *heh* MJW loves the changing table, but I’m sure it’s just a long ruse from the table to lure her in a sense of false security.

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