Something about bringing a very small baby on public transit brings out the tenderest of stories from some of the most unlikely-looking men.
Last weekend, on our way back from a dinner with friends, we got into a conversation with a man on the J-Church line. When he boarded I noticed him instantly for his muscle shirt, blond flat-top haircut and Native American jewelry. When he saw Laurel he smiled and melted a little, showing off his missing teeth.
He told us about his son, now 7, and how much he’s loved raising him so far. He showed us pictures and told us how having a child has helped him heal from his own difficult childhood. This guy, who looked like an aging frat boy, even talked fondly of carrying his son in a wearable carrier (he called it a “papoose”).
The next night, Laurel was restless and we had to wait about 15 minutes for our train, so I started nursing her in the Powell Street BART station. An older guy with a ponytail struck up conversation with us, mainly with Devin, asking how old Laurel is and talking some about his estranged relationship with his wife and son. He advised us to stay together no matter how bad things get; he and his wife had divorced and it was rough on everybody. It sounded like he missed them both a great deal.
Laurel has a softening effect on a lot of people who meet her, in part because she’s so young and cute and bright-eyed, but I don’t think we ever expected that her presence would invite this kind of pouring-out of emotion. It’s sweet, really, and a bit sad — these guys seemed really hungry to share and be open, with whomever might listen.
– Beth
Sara said,
May 14, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Interesting. A couple friends of mine recently, who both had parents who had split while the kids were still young, commented that both their fathers would probably run back to their mothers’ sides in a heartbeat if they were given a chance. They noted that in both cases their dads were very sad and sentimental about losing their wife and children and felt strongly that they should still be together, despite the obvious problems in the marriage– it was the moms who had finally had enough and moved on.
Not to say that this is universal, but I would bet there are a lot of men out there carrying that sort of grief around.
Tyler Winegarner said,
May 15, 2009 at 12:11 pm
One of the most powerful scenes in cinema in recent memory, at least that I’ve come across is **SPOILER WARNING** the scene at the climax of Children of Men when Clive Owens takes the baby out of the building in the middle of a full scale infantry combat. The mere sight of the first baby in years causes several hundred infantry men, a handful of gun embankments and a tank to lay down their arms for fear of harming her.
I like to think if they used Laurel for that she also could have stopped several jet planes, helicopters, gunboats, and Godzilla. She’s just that darned adorable.
Beth W said,
May 15, 2009 at 12:38 pm
I remember that scene. It’s a good one. :)
Muni Diaries » Blog Archive » Pathos Magnet said,
May 19, 2009 at 2:01 pm
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